Last Thursday, I told my mom that she could drop me off for the central line surgery and then go back home to take Darren to school. Then I told her I wouldn't be out until about 11 if she wanted to wait to come back till then. The thing is, I wasn't out-out the whole time and I didn't realize how much I would notice that I was alone. Thank God Mondo walked in (unexpectedly) when he did. It was right before they told me about the minor complications. I think I might have had a breakdown if he weren't there. Instead, I laughed. And he took a picture of me bundled in warm blankets.
So honestly, I'm a bit freaked out. I went in on Friday for the class on my central line, and I am not sure what I was expecting... I guess I thought that they were gonna show me how to clean the lines with Heparin (which I am okay with) and maybe show me how to connect and disconnect the banana phone (aka, the pump, which I still haven't seen)... but I found out I have to change the dressing on my own once a week, for the entire time. The nurse was stressing how it had to be sterile cause the line went straight down to my heart and an infection could.... what?!?!?! The first time I have to change it is Friday and I asked Sheila, who is a nurse and who has been going with me to appointments, if she might help me and make sure I don't kill myself.
My first round of chemotherapy is this Wednesday. Two days. I wonder if I will use it as a measure of time? Like, before chemo and after chemo. I do that sometimes... Oh man, we're really going now aren't we?
Thoughtful gesture...
13 years ago
1 comment:
Here's a hug for you! I wish I had something to say that would make you feel better and didn't sound trite or cliche. I'm going through my own little medical crisis in my head and I just keep saying, "at least I live in a time and place where they can do something about it."
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