And the not-so-technical part...

Feelings...
I know yesterday's blog update was pretty technical. Scheduled. Informative. I guess I forgot to put some feeling into it, so I thought I would add it today - cause man, I got a lot of feeling...

Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, I found myself staring up at the paint in the ceiling and thinking, or wondering - I don't know about what. I guess I was trying to figure out how I felt. Scared, nervous, sad? And none of those emotions stood out. I was excited. I wanted to go to my appointment and find out what the next step was going to be. I mean, I'm going to beat this, so we might as well get started right?

At the doctor's office...
When my name was called, the six of us stood up and headed back. We met up with Dr Azar in the hallway and she said "whoa, who's the patient?" So I told her I was and she asked if everyone was coming back and suggested maybe they wait a bit longer in the waiting room, while I had my exam and she got my history, 'cause she was going to ask me about my whole life... Mondo couldn't get back to the waiting room fast enough!

But it wasn't all that. A really quick exam and a few questions. When everyone came back in, she started out really technical - naming off medication combinations and I was like what? But she was funny, and let me take in what she was saying, circling back when my eyes got that dazed look, to repeat and clarify. She was patient when I asked a question and even when someone else in the room asked the same question again. And she didn't make me feel rushed at all. I couldn't say that she did considering it was over three hours. I feel good about her and so did my family - and Sheila, but I guess you're part of the family whether you like it or not :o)

Mondo...
So now I am going to head off on a tangent and write about Mondo... you know, me and my Mondo. My niece Phia loves Mondo. One time I hugged him and looked at her and told her "this is my Mondo" and she (2 years old) goes "Myyyyyy Mondo!" and Karen (her mom) goes, "Phia, one day you will learn, that's Tia Tommy's Mondo".

We stopped off for lunch before we headed out to the appointment and he wasn't talking much. I know he didn't feel well 'cause he has a sty in his eye - I should write music - and he has not been getting much sleep. He has been so sleep deprived, he even slept in that day and missed work! Yikes!

Anyway, I thought of my bible study the night before and the subject of The Five Love Languages. Words. Gifts. Service. Quality Time. Physical Touch. And part of our discussion was, How do you feel loved? Do people love in one language? Some might, but I can't determine one when I think of my brother (or any of my family).

I think of everything he has done for me - pretty much always, but especially since I've been sick. You know his back went out right before I went into the hospital and then he was barely feeling better, but he was ALWAYS there for me. And I am not knocking anyone else, because so many people have been here for me and I love you all for it. But, he was the first person I called when I found out I had cancer, he was the only one I wanted there with me until I could catch my breath about it. 'Cause he's not just my brother, he is my friend.

Mondo's "words" of love often come in the form of sarcasm. He cracks me up! And I love that. But I remember one time he sent me a text that said "Thinking about and love you sis", which wasn't funny at all, but still awesome. Gifts? I don't know if you know this about Mondo, but he doesn't buy gifts for set occasions, like birthdays or whatever. He prefers to give gifts with meaning. Like if he knows you like fish and you always wear slippers and you're always cold - he will actually look for a pair of fuzzy warm slippers with fish on them. And even better if there is no reason in the world to give them to you other than he thinks you might like them. One time I was home and I was sick, but I'm not sure he new that. He comes in and has a potted tulip plant. I love tulips! I knew he had just visited with our friend Lindy and I asked him "Oh, did Lindy send those?" He goes "No! I did!" and I said "Oh, Tulips are my favorite!" And he goes "I know!" - like how could I not know that he knew that. It was no accident that he just stopped by to bring me my favorite flowers.

Physical? One word. Hugs. I think we all need them. Thank God I never have had a shortage of them. Mondo spoke at my nieces funeral and I remember him talking about "hugs" and how he learned a lesson in "hugs" from my nieces. That no matter how tiny you were, and how big of a person you were hugging, give them with all your might. I'm going to look for the wording of what he said 'cause it's worth noting. So maybe if you got this far, you will check back. [insert] But even if you don't, if you've ever had a hug from Mondo - and if you have ever met Mondo, you surely have - you know what I mean.

Service & Quality Time? Mondo babysat me this past week when my mom and dad had to go out of town. He turned his schedule upside down to drive me anywhere I needed, or wanted to go. And just kept me good company in general. Then when my parents got home and he found out I drove myself somewhere, he told my dad that he better take care of me. He said "Tommy likes to go to bed about midnight, so make sure that it's warm in here for her. And she needs new water at 4:30am - so don't forget. She can't have stale water." HAHAHAHA! That was hillarious! But the truth is, if I wanted water at 4:30am - I bet he would bring it to me.