Monday, May 26, 2008

A good-day-before-the-icks-kick-in...

So today, I guess, was the official end of the three-day Memorial Day Weekend. I thought it went well. Anyway, here's my recap - I only have one previous chemotherapy treatment to gauge it by, and I guess I could have given myself some slack. One thing I did find out is - either I look better than I feel, or lots of people are lying to me.

After my first chemo (which was also on a Wednesday) I felt okay through Friday. I mean, I had a headache and was hot the first day. I was tired all three of those days. But I didn't feel horrible. And, I still had my appetite. By Saturday I was not only tired - like wiped out tired, I was feeling bad too. Flu-ish. My tummy hurt. I lost my appetite. Just ick. And that lasted for the rest of the "chemo week". It was about Tuesday when I finally got back to something normal.

That's what you get for planning...
So that's kind of what I planned for right? I mean, we had thought about taking a short weekend trip to New Mexico, just to get away. When my treatment got postponed (twice), we nixed those plans. I didn't want to be on a mini-vacation in the middle of the icks.

What really happened...
Not much more on Wednesday than what I already posted. Hot. Tired. Headache. So I rested. I felt my first symptoms of neuropathy. This is like a tingling in my fingers. Kind of like a numbness. Come Thursday I wasn't feeling too bad either. So after sleeping most of the day, I got up, got ready and went and met a friend for a bite to eat. Not bad.

Friday, fearing it was my last "good day" before the icks, I planned on going to my Godson's last day of school potluck. He is four years old and called to invite me "Nina, if you'we feeling okaaaay, will you please come to my last day of schoowl? - If you'we feeling okay?" Heart melt. "Yes buddy. I will be there." By this time my appetite was being picky enough where I munched only on some fruits and edamame. We stayed an hour and I was ready for a nap.

That evening I thought I had plans with a friend to come over and veg out with some take-home and a chick flick. I must have got my dates crossed though and honestly, wasn't really sweating it. But Mondo called and asked if I wanted to go grab a bite. He knew that one of the things I had felt like eating was Pho - Vietnamese rice noodle soup just in case you didn't know- so he asked if I still wanted to go, and he and Eric came by to pick us up (Darren loves Pho too). That was cool. After dinner, Mondo asked how I was feeling. "Pretty good I think. Dinner was good". So he says, "well how about dessert?". At this point, I'm up for it and I'm getting a strong feeling that Mondo and Eric must have planned to spend this time, my '"good-day-before-the-icks-kicked-in", with me. It improved my mood tremendously. I felt very Cinderella'ish - hard to explain.

After dessert, again Mondo asked how I was feeling.
Me: I'm still good.
Mondo: Do you want to do anything?
Me: Like what?
Mondo: Go for a walk around the mall? The park? Downtown? Whatever?
See, I had told Mondo that I like to walk and at the very least would like to get out and do that. He's indulged me at his most exhausted hours to walk with me around Colorado Mills though and it's one of the many things I love him for - keeping me company. Darren was about done with us, so we dropped him off and took some time to review Westword to see if there were any art exhibits on. Too late for that, but we decided to check out the movie "21" at the Elvis Theatre. What a crazy night. It may not seem like that to you, but to me - it was crazy and I was tired and it was fun and I was glad to have the guys take a Friday night off so that I could have a good'un before the icks. It made me feel really special.

Anyway, as it turns out, Saturday wasn't so bad either. Tired, I slept most of the day and since my parents went out that evening, I got my butt up and went upstairs to hang out with Darren. He let me pick the movie - even though I fell asleep 15 minutes into it. When I woke up and noticed he had snuck into the computer room, he came back in to keep me company. He set up a target and we played with a dart gun for a bit until I said, time for bed. It was so simple, but so nice.

Sunday, determined - I got up and got ready and went to church. I needed to catch up on my hugs. Pastor Mark talked about Thanksgiving and how it's more than just one day a year and it's more than when you're getting all of your wishes and wants. He talked about Thanking God when maybe you just feel like crying, or maybe you feel like you don't have much to be thankful about. All I wanted to say was "Amen"... but really, I don't feel like crying, and I know that have tons to be thankful for - I guess my Amen is for just that...

Sunday afternoon, we had tried to put together a barbeque. It was a last minute thing when the trip fell through, so it didn't look like many people would make it. I wasn't sure even if Mondo would. Honestly, it got me a little down and I felt like cancelling it, but mom said 'no'. I'm happy about that 'cause it turned out to be a good one. Easy, relaxing and good company.

So, to all those that said that I looked good this weekend and looked or sounded shocked when you said it (haha :o) - I thought it was funny each time. I hope to continue to surprise you, just as this weekend surprised me. While I haven't felt great since my treatment, I still had a great weekend - and that must be what you saw when you looked at me. I can do this, I know - and having you all around me makes it easier.

1 comment:

Lori Lynn said...

Here's a hug for you Tommy. If you send me your email address I've got a great picture of you and your mom from the tea.