Pray for Tay!

I'm Relay'n people! Friday, June 5th to Saturday, June 6th

My Reason to Relay

I Relay because I want to see an end to cancer during my lifetime.

I Relay in memory of those who did not live to see that. For my Godmother. My uncle Ronnie. My Grandpa. My Uncle Sonny. For Coleman...

I Relay in honor of amazing Survivors who inspired me and gave me great hope in my own battle. For Matthew. For Heather. For Sammy. For Heller. For Tracey. For Nadine...

I Relay for those who are still fighting. For Taylor. For Jeanine. For Audrey...

I Relay for the families and friends and anyone else affected by this horrible disease. That's YOU! because, cancer affects EVERYBODY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Relay for Life Page: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/prayfortay
Taylor's Story: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/taylormorgan
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** This is a duplicate post from my wholelottahappy blog

First follow-up...

Tomorrow I have my first follow-up appointment since I've completed my chemotherapy...

I received a call from Kaiser about a referral. She asked me if I wanted to schedule the appointment. "Sure. What's it for?" I had forgot I was supposed to go in for a blood draw shortly after my chemo ended. My magnesium or something was low. I never went in. But this call wasn't for that, it just reminded me of that. The referral was for dermatology. Dr Azar thinks I should get some of my birthmarks checked out. I had actually been advised of that once before and I guess I blew it off. This time, I decided not to.

So, tomorrow I will go back to the medical center and get things checked out. Maybe I will stop by and say "Hi" to the Oncology peeps. It's been a while... Do you think they'll remember me? I wonder if the hospital smell will bother me as much as it had back in October...

I also have my first colonoscopy scheduled. Yay. I'm so excited. (In case you can't read it, that was sarcasm). I'm a bit nervous about it, but (or should I say - butt) I guess that's normal. I'll be getting that puppy done on February 5th. In anticipation of getting spectacular results, I am planning a celebration weekend. Yay! (That was real excitement :)

Thought I would mention, I've started a new blog. It is not nearly as factual as this one. No blood counts. No medical termonology. I decided I would keep this one more about the "big C" and the other one is about fun stuff. Mostly eating, cooking and other stuff I do for kicks. Anyway, if you get bored and want to check it out - it's posted at http://wholelottahappy.blogspot.com/.

Cheers!

I'm back!

So I had my party and I thought it was awesome. I felt so looooooved! :o)

My only regrets are that I felt like I barely said "hi" and "bye" to almost everyone - didn't really have much of a chance to sit and talk to anybody... Bummmmmmer. But hopefully we will catch up if we didn't get to there. I'm also bummed that I didn't take enough pictures! argh!

Awe well, I still had fun and it was great to see so many friends and family who have been so supportive to me over these past 7 months. And it was a great way to kick off my new adventure - getting back to a "normal life" - YAY!

Speaking of a "normal life", today I went back to work. It was not very successful cause my login didn't work, but it was still pretty exciting to be back. Hopefully tomorrow will go smoother in as much as my being able to access my account. I have ALOT of email to go through!

I'm gonna post the few pictures I did get and I also thought I would post recipes for the Sangria and the Sausage Potato Soup - I got asked alot for both of those.... (Click on picture to view album...)

Pomegranate Sangria

1 bottle fruity red wine (I used Lambrusco)
2 cups pomegranate juice (I used Blueberry-Pomegranate Juice)
1/2 cup brandy
1/2 cup Triple Sec
1/4 cup simple syrup (equal amounts sugar and water, heated until sugar dissolves, cooled)
1/4 cup pomegranate seeds
1 large orange, halved and thinly sliced
1/4 pineapple, sliced into wedges
1 lime, halved and thinly sliced

Combine all ingredients in a pitcher, cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours or up to 48 hours before serving. Serve over ice.


Sausage Potato Soup
(Copycat) This is a clone of the Olive Garden
4-6 servings
1½ hours
20 min prep

1	lb Italian sausage
2	large russet baking potatoes, sliced in half,and then in 1/4 inch slices
1	large onion, chopped
1/2	can Oscar Meyer bacon bits
2	cloves garlic, minced
2	cups kale or swiss chard, chopped
2	cans chicken broth
1	quart water
1	cup heavy whipping cream

1. Cook sausage in a 300°F oven for approximately 30 minutes.
2. Drain sausages on paper towels and cut into slices.
3. Place onions, potatoes, chicken broth, water, garlic in pot, and cook on medium heat until potatoes are done.
4. Add sausage and bacon.
5. Salt and pepper to taste.
6. Simmer for another 10 minutes.
7. Turn to low heat.
8. Add kale and cream.
9. Heat through and serve.

Followup and Party Party Party!

Oops. I guess it took me a while to get back. It would be true to say that I have been wayyyyy more tired this past week than I have been through my whole treatment - so I have been sleeping accordingly. But, tiredness and sleep I can deal with, so I'm not complaining.

When I did find some energy to get up - I hung out with Mondo and Eric, went to a movie with Darren & Mondo (Igor), saw the Bronco game at Mario & Karen's and also went to lunch and a movie with my friend Wendy (Nights in Rodanthe - I know Mondo was disappointed I didn't wait for him to see it with me - haha). It's been a good week.

So anyway... followup. Last week I talked to Dr Azar about followup (she will be out of the office on my last appointment). It's pretty basic I guess. Sometime in December I will need to go in for a colonoscopy. Ugh. FYI - this will be my first one. I know a lot of people think I've had one, but no. If I had had one, perhaps I never would have got this far! Anyway... then in March I will have a CT Scan. And in April I will visit Dr Azar to see how things look. Here's praying for nice and clear with no signs of Evil Cancer growth.

My last chemo is one week from tomorrow! I will wear the pump for two days and should be able to get my central line taken out on Friday! I am sooooo excited I can't even tell you. In the meantime I am planning an "End of Chemo" party. It's set for October 25th and if you didn't get the evite - please drop me a line with your email address! BTW - October 25th is also my dad's birthday so we should have cake too! Come Celebrate with me!!!

Bring. It. On.

"angry stitches" + central line falling out + PICC line insert + ouch, blood clots + PICC line removed + another surgery + new central line. + breathing problems + CAT scan + more steroids = THREE crummy weeks!

But I'm over it. As soon as I finished my last chemo I vowed that my next four - LAST four would be better.

So far, so good!

Fri, 09/12 - Roller Derby! Woohoo!
Sat, 09/13 - My Godson's Bday Party
Sun, 09/14 - Family BBQ
Mon, 09/15 - Walk with Beth
Tues, 09/16 - zzzzzzzzzzz....
Wed, 09/17 - Walk & Lunch w/Beth, Dinner w/Mario & Karen
Thu, 09/18 - Dinner & La Rhumba (dancing - even though I didn't dance :o) w/friends
Fri, 09/19 - Lunch w/Lisa, Darren & Adrian. Movie w/Mondo, Adrian & Darren. Dinner w/Mondo, Mario & Karen - part of my "mini-make-a-wish", we went to Landry's Seafood House - yummmmm....
Sat, 09/20 - Miracle Party 2008 in honor of some amazing kids battling cancer, including my cousin Taylor!

I'm not gonna lie - I'm tired. And I feel more tired everyday. But getting out re-energizes me and makes me feel oh so much better than when I stay home. It was a great week, spent with a lot of people I love. And although I am not overbooking myself next week - I am looking forward to having three more good weeks to end this part of my battle! Bring. It. On.

Check out the pix from the Miracle Party. Isn't Taylor beautiful! She's amazing.

Chemotherapy - Session VIII

Wella wella yeah. Just got back from my EIGHTH chemotherapy treatment. Yesssssss! That means I am now 2/3 of the way through! Only four more treatments! Yes, I'm psyched about that.

Today went well..... especially since I didn't get checked in until I had already been there for three hours. Here's what happened - when I got to the waiting room, there was no one at the desk (kinda weird cause there's usually two people there). So I put my check-in papers in the check-in basket and have a seat. Then my nurse for the day (Patty) came in and picked up my papers, commented that it was weird no one was there to check me in, and took me back for my blood draw. While she was doing that I told her that my port was kinda bothering me. It was hurting when the tubes moved - which is pretty often actually. So she checked it. There are three "points of entry". One is the main line into my chest. And two are stitches holding the port in place. The stitches are what were bothering me and they looked pretty red. She said "well, they aren't infected - but they are mad!" That made me laugh. I don't know why my stitches would be mad at me, not sure what I did. Anyway, it was decided to take out the stitches (ouch) and let that area heal. So I now have this sticky thing that has a clip to hold everything in place. Feels muuuuuuuch better. Doesn't look so great, but awe well.

Wow - did that make any sense? I'd put a picture up, but not sure anyone wants to see all that! hahaha!

What else? Well I guess on my last post I mentioned, I finally got my energy back. The 2nd week went well... much better than the first! I decided this week to go back to my old medication regimen and deal with the "jittery" side effects from the steroids instead of being knocked out for 5 days.

Recap...

• Wed 7/30 to ??? - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  
• Tues 8/5 Pedicure! and then HH Birthday Celebration with Johnny
• Wed 8/6 Hang out with Beth Roberts - a lil' bit of shopping!
  
• Thu 8/7 Movie with Darren - Incredible Hulk
• Fri 8/8 Lunch with my friend Lisa G and then - ROLLER DERBY w/Mondo, Marvin, Donna, Lisa R & Johnny! Fun!
• Sat 8/9 My brother Mario's Summer BBQ - hangin' out with the family Rocks! But getting kinda worn down by this time...
  
• Sun 8/10 Bridal Shower, BDay BBQ and then hangin' out with Yvette O
  
• Mon 8/11 Darren's first day of school! 7th Grade! - Walk at the park with Beth R and then Starbucks... mmmmm - Lunch with Yvette S - BW3s w/Lindy, Brooke, Regina & Mondo. And the crazy balloon guy.
• Tues 8/12 Walk at the park - Lunch with Fabian

PS - I died my hair black somewhere in between there...

Some pictures...

Matthew, me & Mondo

My cousin Dario & I went to PF Chang's before Comedy Works (Fri 8/1)

Jamiee & me - celebrating her brother Johnny's Bday

Johnny, getting a tan or blowing out candles. Happy Birthday!

Noticing the "good stuff" -
[x] Super Patty - She's an awesome nurse. She wasn't even supposed to do my blood draw, but she did it anyway. She's way attentive and responds to all my questions, requests and concerns.
[x] Company - My friend Linda Chisholm (from my small group) came and spent the day with me. It was awesome to catch up with her and hear about her trip to Sweden. And of course, she let me talk talk talk too. And she brought me lunch :o) Thanks Linda!
[x] Almost done - My chemo-friend Angelo was there and looked like he was doing better than last time. He only has one more treatment to go! Good for you Angelo!

My numbers -

		Range
	Actual	Low	High
WBC	9.1	3.5	11.0
HGB	12.1	12.0	16.0
HCT	35.7	34.0	47.0
Platelets	200	150.0	450.0
Neutrophils	6.0	1.5	7.5

Chemotherapy - Session VII

Here I am again... just got back from my 7th session. 12-11-10-9-8-7-6.... Not that I'm counting down or anything... :o)

You know, I've heard people say before that they can't stand hospitals. They have to be practically on their death bed to go in to see a doctor and they won't go visit anyone no matter what. I always thought "What's the deal? What's sooooo bad about hospitals?" But today, the SMELL of the hospital grossed me out so much I thought I would get sick. It almost made me want to cry just thinking I was going to have to spend 5 hours in it... I've never felt that way about it before. Guess I was just sensitive to it or something. Uck!

Other than that, everything went well. It took the usual hour+ to get my bloodcounts back, but they were all good. I talked to Dr Azar about this side effect I've had... for several days after my treatment I get this restless feeling in my legs and arms. Like I can't get comfortable sitting, standing or laying down. If I'm standing, I'm pacing back and forth. If I'm sitting, I'm kicking my legs back and forth. And if I'm laying down, I'm turning from side to side. It was getting on my nerves quite a bit... enough to ask her about it. Anyway, she said it's probably a side effect of the steroids I'm taking. So I am gonna try a different anti-nausea medication this week. Hopefully that does the trick.

Right now, I'm tired. Hot. And my tummy hurts... so yep, I'm 'bout to take a nap.... maybe.

Oh yeah, hadn't updated about last week, but it was great. I went to lunch - with my friend Yvette S and also with friends Sue and Crystal (who did the Relay for Life with me). Wednesday I went to lunch with my friend Eric and to a Rockies Game. And Friday to lunch with Mondo, Darren & my friend Lisa & her kids. Then we went to the zoo and met up with my nephew and his family. His son Josiah told me last week "auntie, I want to go to the zoo!" I also saw a couple of movies with Darren - WallE and Journey to the Center of the Earth. And then Friday night I got to do my 2nd "mini-make-a-wish". Mondo and I went to the Capital Grille downtown for a really nice dinner. We even ran into our friend Andrew who bought us dessert! mmmm... It was awesome!

My numbers -

		Range
	Actual	Low	High
WBC		3.5	11.0
HGB		12.0	16.0
HCT		34.0	47.0
Platelets		150.0	450.0
Neutrophils		1.5	7.5

The Relay for Life

Argh, I've been slacking again! I meant to post about the Relay for Life over the weekend, but I guess I just vegged out instead - sorry! The thing is, I don't really know where to start... it was such an awesome night, I don't feel like I can do it justice.

Let's see... First I will go with who was there...

Me, my mom, my dad, Darren and Mondo. Mario, Karen, Sophia and Mateo. From Sun (work) Sue and Crystal. And unexpectedly a day before the relay I found out that my cousin Tommy was coming with his whole family - Tammy, Taylor, Matthew and Landon. That was a great surprise as Taylor is my little cousin who is also dealing with cancer and who I walked in honor of. And although I don't think it was in their original plan to stay the whole night, the kids were having such a good time - they did!

Over the night, we got lots of visitors too - My friend Brooke stopped by to play a few games with us. My favorite PA from Kaiser, Theresa, stopped by with her husband to see if there was anything we needed. My friend Debbie stopped by with Mercedes and Lexus to play some games and bring burritos! And somewhere along the way, my son met a friend - Eduardo - who hung out at our camp all night.

After opening ceremonies Taylor and I participated in the "Survivor Lap" with our special "Survivor TShirts". It rained as we made our way around and it was so cool to see everyone clapping the whole way around - just standing in the rain and cheering us on. Taylor is truly a survivor type - this girl has been through 9 intense months of treatment and she comes out ready to fight some more. She's beautiful, full of energy and smiles and she is inspiring to me. Taylor, you will always be in my thoughts and prayers!

If you have a chance, please visit her site too - http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/taylormorgan.

What next? Games. Taylor taught us a card game called "Mafia" that everyone really enjoyed. I could tell cause even when I was napping in the tent, I could hear them laughing so hard I thought surely someone was gonna pee their pants!

As it got dark, we made a couple more rounds and we looked at the beautiful tribute of luminarias. A luminaria is a paper sack with a candle in it and people bought them in honor or in memory of a loved one who has been touched by cancer. As we found Taylor's, my cousin Tommy (yes, we have the same name) said "I wonder where yours is" and I swear I got a tear in my eye when we found it. It really touched my heart that Taylor made a luminaria to honor me. It was beautiful.

There was a point in the night when me and my mom were at the camp alone with the kids. Eduardo, who was also wearing a survivor tshirt shared his story of his fight with leukemia since the young age of 4 (he's 15 now). It is so very hard to explain how it felt to hear these kids - they're just kids for heaven's sake! - talk so matter of factly about these experiences that no child should ever have to encounter. And what was it that they had to say in the end? Eduardo's desire is to collect toys to give to the hospital so that they can give out to other kids going through what he went through, cause he remembers that they did that for him. And Taylor was on the same wavelength - "Yes!" she said "I want to do gift baskets!" Such big hearts.

As for the walk - Darren had a blast. I can't believe the energy he had for it after spending the day at Elitch's, but he walked alot. And he even won a bingo game during one of the prize laps. Taylor stayed up all night and walked alot too. Even after that first lap she turned to me and said - let's do another.

This night was filled with so much love and support, it's really why I say I can't put it into words. If I could translate how big and full my heart feels, you would probably be reading forever. It was a great night. An awesome night, and I am so glad we did it. And I am so grateful for all of the people I have in my life and had with me to share that night with...

Chemotherapy - Session VI

Guess what... I have GOOD NEWS! See how happy I am?!?!?!cheeeeeese!

I had my 6th of 12 treatments today. I am HALFWAY THROUGH! I don't know why, but I am really excited about that. I guess it's just another blessing I have to count that things have went so well so far. I still am positive and full of hope and what I think is really unexpected - HaPpY! You know what I did for my pre-chemo day? I went to the driving range with Scottie (pictures to come). I've never been before and I thought it was lots of fun. I even dreamt about keeping my wrists straight next time! I also met up with my friend Lisa and we had lunch at The Broker - never been there before... and then in the evening, had dinner with my friend Nina at La Sandia (another new restaurant). Three new things with three great friends all in one day - it was awesome!

Today, my mom and Darren took me to chemo and picked up lunch for me then headed out. It was the first time I stood there alone during treatment (don't get mad Sheila! It was unexpected!) and after I read a "Soap Opera Digest" - I fell asleep. That made the time go by pretty fast... but really, I was there from 10am - 3pm. My friend Angelo wasn't there, so I didn't chat with anyone. I hope he's okay - have to check on him next.

Anyway, no nap for me now. I have to go pick up T-Shirts and info for the Relay for Life we're doing this weekend. I am sooooo psyched about that too! This week we made breakfast burritos to sell at work (thanks Mario) to raise a bit more money for the cause. So, again - if you want to check details out, they're posted online at http://main.acsevents.org/goto/tomasita. And here's a favor I have - if you're the praying type - please pray that I will have energy this weekend! I'm gonna need it!

Added after first post...
Went to go pick up our stuff for the walk and then went with Mondo and some friends for dessert. It was our friend's bday and he bought us dessert. Yummm.... Here are the pix I said I would post... click for a larger view...


My numbers -

		Range
	Actual	Low	High
WBC	13.1	3.5	11.0
HGB	12.4	12.0	16.0
HCT	35.9	34.0	47.0
Platelets	168	150.0	450.0
Neutrophils	9.2	1.5	7.5

Time for some Summer Pix....

Thought I would give a quick update for those of you who'd like to know what's been going on with me. I've felt pretty good this week and have done some 'fun stuff' with my family...

Tuesday, 7/8 - Took Darren, my godson Adrian and my niece Aubreyana to Adventure Golf and Go-Karts. Then we came home and played Uno & Monopoly.

Wednesday, 7/9 - WDP Board Meeting which turned out to be fun. I really like the group of people, they're easy to talk to and they make me laugh. It's exciting to know that we have approval to go ahead with the 2nd Middle School. YAY!

Thursday, 7/10 - Lunch with Scottie! Which was good to catch up... unfortunately, my back went out right after lunch. Ouch. So I took it easy for the rest of the day.

Friday, 7/11 - Feeling much better! Took Darren and met up with Mondo & Tyler at Belmar to see "Hellboy II". Did you know first movie of the day is only $5.50? What a deal. That afternoon, we (mom, dad, Darren & Mondo) went to Pueblo to visit family. We got to see my dad's aunt Jenny - she's 94! She looked like she was doing pretty good. I met up with my cousin Maria and we went out for a Red Beer (mmmm) or two. Short visit, but it was nice to see a few people we hardly ever get to see.

Saturday, 7/12 - Left Pueblo early to get to Canon City to purchase tickets for the 12:30 train ride in the Royal Gorge. It was a two hour ride and the kids really seemed to have fun. They got a big kick out of seeing the rafters and especially when they waived back to them. After the train ride, we went up to the top of the gorge. I stayed in the van and took a nap - I was not going near the gorge - way too afraid of heights.... but Mondo, Mario & his whole family and Darren walked across. Yikes. AND THEN, after that, we went to Pizza Madness in town and met up with my nino (Godfather) and some cousins. That was really cool 'cause I hardly ever see my nino and he is the best.

Anyway, it was a pretty great weekend and it truly felt like we were on vacation even though we were only two hours away. Needless to say, I was exhausted when we got home last night. We all were.

So, anyway - I thought it was time for some pix...

A mini-make-a-wish

Last night I took my first "mini-make-a-wish".

That's what I call it at least. I was accepted to a program offered by the Diana Price-Fish Foundation that allows adults actively dealing with cancer to "play hookie" from cancer once a month by doing a fun event. For this month's event, I got tickets to the musical Sweeny Todd that is playing at the Buell. I love doing stuff like that!

First we went to a Czech restaurant on Broadway and I had - I can't remember what it was called, but it was good. Mondo ordered a fried cheesesteak, and when it came out it was a thick slice of cheese with a layer of a little piece of ham, breaded and deep fried! He said it was gooood though and thought, it would be ideal if someone cut them into bite size sticks and served them with marinara sauce. Funny guy!

Well, that's it for now. Hope ya all are ready to enjoy a nice summer weekend!

A few pics... from the zoo

Just a few pics from the zoo trip, aka "Tommy BC's New Year's Eve Celebration" mentioned on post titled Why are my eyes leaking.

A few pics... from Chemo Session#1 and Family Dinner

Also, a few pics from chemo session #1 (probably duplicated below) but with additional photos of the family visiting for dinner afterwards.


Also, wanted to apologize on slacking off on noticing the goodstuff in blog form. Here's way to few to make up a bit...
Noticing the "good stuff" -
[x] Ice Cream & Iced Drinks
[x] Done with One!
[x] Blog comments - thank you Lori & Christina!!!
[x] Small groups at FM
[x] MY Band of Sisters
[x] Sheila - you rock!
[x] Mom, for everything
[x] anti-nausea medication
[x] The Zoo!
[x] Family dinners

Good Medicine...

The Colorado Mammoth had their final regular season home game tonight at the Pepsi Center. They kicked butt! This victory ensures that the team will host a West Division Semifinal playoff game, likely to be played on Saturday, May 3!

It was such a high energy game! Really, they all are, but this one was extra. So fun. Is it so bad that one of the highlights was seeing the fight between Tom Ethington (way hotttt) and Chris McElroy. Man, Tom E is a scrapper! I don't know what happened, just looked over and saw gloves all over the floor along side a couple of helmets and sticks. Tom E and McElroy doing a little dance and then pow! It was all over for McElroy. Ouch! Ooh. Ouch! Ouch! Yikes! That had to hurt.

Argh! I can't believe I forgot my cowbell! However, I did wear the lucky ring that Voodoo entrusted to me and I kissed it every goal! BTW - Happy Birthday Voodoo!

Anyway, adrenaline levels way up, way happy, feeling good. That is good medicine! The Best!

Just a note... we're probably gonna get a projector to watch the next two games at my house if anyone is interested. Sunday 04/20 and Friday 04/25! Let me or Mondo know if you can make it.

Out and about...

The ending of a great week... I got out of the house starting with the Mammoth game on Thursday (details in previous post).

Then Friday night I attended a Mission Estonia Poker Party Fundraiser at Marvin and Donna's House. It was a lot of fun and really good to see some of my Faith Mountain family. Although most of them had visited me in the hospital, it still felt like a long time since I had seen them. Donna made sure I had pillows for comfort and Mary (who I had met at a previous poker party) tended to my needs the rest of the night. She wouldn't even let me get up to get a bottle of water. But I didn't sit still the whole time. I mingled during the break and chatted with friends after I went out.

Saturday we had a birthday party for Darren at Faith Mountain. It was pretty easy - Mario and Karen ordered pizza's and brought salad, drinks and picked up the cake that Denise had bought. Everyone who got there early helped put out the chairs and Mondo and John set up two projectors for the kids to play Xbox and Nintendo. I think they had fun because I didn't hear any "I'm bored" complaints. The adults sat in another room and chatted, and eventually played one game of Texas Hold'em. By the time that game was over, I was starting to get a little achy and was ready to go home. Everyone pitched in and cleaned up in no time. I gave my mom the "night off" and she and my dad took a trip up to Blackhawk. Mondo came home with me and Darren and "babysat" me until after 1:00am.

Today, I made it to church and got to see the rest of my Faith Mountain family that I had been missing. I was so happy during worship, I sang my heart out.... and I don't know if many of you know this - but I don't sing, except at church, and usually I don't sing very loud there. But I was just so thankful for such an amazing week, I couldn't help myself. Sorry to those of you who were sitting near me ;o) This evening, we went to Mario & Karen's house for a family birthday dinner. Darren had his favorite, king crab legs - so I think he was pretty happy with his birthday weekend. Score!

So the weekend update is this - Every day I am feeling better and seem to be healing well.

I'm sure I'm repeating this when I say it, but you would have thought that this past week would have been the (2nd) worst in my life, but it wasn't. It actually felt like one of the best. I feel truly blessed.